Overcoming trials

We went to my OB last week. He walked in the room with the Sonogram machine to listen to the baby's heart! Clearly he must have not looked at my notes. However he quickly realized his mistake and we talked about the miscarriage. He basically said that it looks like I can get pregnant but just can not keep the baby. The plan is to check my Progesterone level at day 21 to make sure that it is where it should be. Then once I am pregnant I will do progesterone shots to help keep the baby. Until then he would like to have me take Clomid for another 3 months straight! I don't know who is less excited about this, Brandon or myself? I have taken Clomid for 4 months in the past 8 months and it seriously makes me so angry and anxious and upset. But if that is what my Dr. feels is best I think we will try it again.

Well it has been 3 weeks since the miscarriage and this miscarriage is much different from my last one in that I am not nearly as emotional. I think about it a lot, especially this past Sunday when I realized that I would have been 9 weeks along. I have 2 cousins who are both pregnant one who is due only 2 weeks before me and the other one only 1 day before me. It was hard at first for me to hear them talk about it but it is getting easier. In the beginning I was very frustrated, I would wonder why I was able to finally get pregnant after 2 years of trying just to have the baby taken from us! Now I am coming more to terms that the Lord works in mysterious ways. He know what is best for us and I just need to put my faith and trust in him. I recently had an Aunt who told me that she truly believes that this little spirit wants to come but it is just waiting for a healthy body! I have come to realize how true that is and can only pray that it will be in the very near future. Easton is SO cute with babies, any time we are around them he always asks to hold them. He is so gentle with them and gives them hugs and kisses! He is just preparing himself to become a big brother! Today is an emotional day, probably because I am at work and we are not busy so I have a lot of time to think about it. I know that this trial can only make me stronger so I hope to do my part and put my trust in the Lord and his timing! A friend of mine also went through this same trial. She posted this on her blog and I loved it so I wanted to post it as well. (Hope she does not mind)

“It takes faith—unseeing faith—for young people to proceed immediately with their family responsibilities in the face of financial uncertainties. It takes faith for the young woman to bear her family instead of accepting employment, especially when schooling for the young husband is to be finished. It takes faith to observe the Sabbath when ‘time and a half’ can be had working, when sales can be made, when merchandise can be sold. It takes a great faith to pay tithes when funds are scarce and demands are great. It takes faith to fast and have family prayers and to observe the Word of Wisdom. It takes faith to do ward teaching, stake missionary work, and other service, when sacrifice is required. It takes faith to fill foreign missions. But know this—that all these are of the planting, while faithful devout families, spiritual security, peace, and eternal life are the harvests.

“Remember that Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and others could not see clearly the end from the beginning. They also walked by faith and without sight. Remember again that no gates were open; Laban was not drunk; and no earthly hope was justified at the moment Nephi exercised his faith and set out finally to get the plates. No asbestos clothes or other ordinary protective devices were in the fiery furnace to protect the three Hebrews from death; there were no leather nor metal muzzles for the mouths of the lions when Daniel was locked in the den.

“Remember that there were no clouds in the sky nor any hydrometer in his hand when Elijah promised an immediate break in the long extended drouth; though Joshua may have witnessed the miracle of the Red Sea, yet how could he by mortal means perceive that the flooding Jordan would back up for the exact time needed for the crossing, and then flow on its way to the Dead Sea.

“Remember that there were no clouds in the sky, no evidence of rain, and no precedent for the deluge when Noah built the ark according to commandment. There was no ram in the thicket when Isaac and his father left for Moriah for the sacrifice. Remember there were no towns and cities, no farms and gardens, no homes and storehouses, no blossoming desert in Utah when the persecuted pioneers crossed the plains. And remember that there were no heavenly beings in Palmyra, on the Susquehanna or on Cumorah when the soul-hungry Joseph slipped quietly into the Grove, knelt in prayer on the river bank, and climbed the slopes of the sacred hill.

“But know this: that undaunted faith can stop the mouths of lions, make ineffective the fiery flames, make dry corridors through beds of rivers and seas. Unwavering faith can protect against deluge, terminate drouths, heal the sick, and bring heavenly manifestations. Indomitable faith can help us live the commandments and thereby bring blessings unnumbered with peace, perfection, and exaltation in the kingdom of God”

*Faith makes things possible, Not Easy*